Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
