Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
