Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
