I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I need moral support for this bender
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
