My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
