return my video game
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
