woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
