either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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