I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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