cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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