My friends, they love my intelligence
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
