Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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