So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize