no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
