I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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