why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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