I seem to have left my pride at pride
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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