Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
