At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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