apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
