She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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