Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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