Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
