So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
