For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
