Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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