she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
