I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
