I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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