belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
