I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
