i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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