my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
