Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
