just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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