Christians are straight up FREAKS
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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