I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
