it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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