Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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