I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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