I'm drive I can fine osifer
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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