coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
