What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
