My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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