dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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