She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Still dying that you shit outside
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
