dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Randomize
