that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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