I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
