4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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