so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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