Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
