looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
